KMK: A Psychic Critic Review | The Crazies

Movie: The Crazies

Director: Doesn’t matter

Star: Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood, Damages, Hitman) Radha Miller (um….)

Trailer:

Okay, lets start with the horror 101 checklist:

1. Handsome, brave leading man? Check. He’s even a sheriff.

2. Buxom and plucky hot chick? Check. His wife, possibly girlfriend.

3. Wisecracking funny sidekick? Check. The deputy. Funny looking at least.

4. Overwhelming Big Bad? Check. Government conspiracy and machine gun toting soldiers. Can black vans and Agents Scully and Moulder be far behind?

5. Insurmountable odds? Check. Town full of crazy people hacking each other to bits.

Nothing interrupts an idyllic spring baseball game like a homicidal shotgun wielding hillbilly. Remember what I said about shot guns in my last review? The same applies here. I’m seeing good Midwestern folk terrorized by fear and pushed to the extremes in an  all out attempt to get the heck out of there. Beloved friends going ape shit, freaked out women peeping through keyholes, sinister lit matches, gargantuan menacing farm equipment, and deserted streets all spells a whole lot of “oh f–k” for the sheriff. I’m seeing blood, gore, and enough mayhem to make Spartacus look like a Saturday morning cartoon.

Poster: Perfect. This poster revs up the psychic juices to the max. I’m seeing equal parts carnage and suspense. The black and white makes it haunting and the blood red “The Crazies” text is like a bloody nose. That’s one movie monster that would make Freddy Kruger crap his pants. No wise cracks, no taunts, no slow zombie stalking, no I’m seeing all out pitchfork wielding crazy coming at you faster than you read this sentence.

Verdict: See it.

Justification: My psychic powers reveal Escape from New York meets Outbreak with some Night of the Living Dead and Hitchcock thrown in.Who can pass that up?

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