Taboo. It’s a fun word to say that brings a small smile to my face every time. It usually conjures up mystical images of third world tribes engaged in some obscure secret rite. Of course in reality Taboos generally much more mundane though just as powerful in their affect on people and their lives.
I’ve always wanted to write about Korea’s social taboos, but just never got around to it until I recently witnessed an ajosshi pluck a cigarette out of a young woman’s mouth and shout at her until she ran and disappeared into the crowd. Another BOA, for sure, but still it got me thinking again of Korea’s taboos.
I thought it’d be fitting to put together a list of some of Korea’s top Cultural Taboos. Feel free to add more to the list or correct me if you think I got one wrong!
1. Smoking in Public, an XX no no
It’s not so much that women aren’t allowed to smoke in public, it’s just that they should do so under an awning or in an alley out of sight. Though this is an antiquated taboo I did see some guy pluck a ciggy straight out of a young lady’s mouth.
2. Fear My Authoritay!
Respect is huge in Korea especially when seniors are involved. They’ve paid their dues and feel like its their turn for some deferential treatment. That means speak nicely, bow, give up your seat, and generally go out of your way toward them.
3. Single? No kids? Over thirty? What’s wrong with you?
If you’re a single gal or guy in your thirties with no prospects for marriage and no desire to do so then be prepared for the societal pressure and your momma to come crashing down upon you. Eligible young men or women will be practically dragged in from the street to get you hitched before you pass your expiration date which in Korea seems to be 35 at the latest.
4. Tanned Skin
Where’s your umbrella? Visor hat? Olive Young skin whitening cream? You must be crazy to think of getting a tan when everyone knows the oyster white eggshell palate is in! Stay out of the sun until you have that shut in I’ve been kidnapped and held prisoner in someone’s basement look for five years and then you’ll fit right in.
5. Tattoo: it better be that guy from Fantasy Island
Because if its ink on your body and it’s visible be prepared for stares that will make you feel as it a turd is on your arm. Admittedly this isn’t as bad as it probably was before, but if you’re working as a teacher visible tatts will not do you any favors in getting a job.
6. The Gay, It’s only in the Movies
It doesn’t exist, but if it did its brought to Korea from foreigners, western movies, and K-Dramas like Beautiful Life. If you’ve read about the uproar from outraged mother groups aimed at the aforementioned show which depicts an honest and fair portrayal of a family dealing with their gay son then you know its not exactly Will & Grace time in Korea.
7. Say My Name, just not in Red
Possibly more of a superstition, but still I thought I’d mention it just in case. Writing someone’s name in red indicates that you want them to come to some bodily harm or that they are dead.
8. Whatchoo Talking About Minsoo?
Sure you can talk crap about the President, but don’t say one bad word about Kim Yuna or Park Ji Sung or you’ll be facing a tidal wave of nationalism that will drown you in a sea of fists or at least a few evil eyes and snarls. South Koreans take their national heroes and heroines very seriously and no one can knock them off their pedestal except South Koreans.
9. Betta Put a Ring On it
Birds do it, Bees do it but if you’re Korean and not married then you better not be! Premarital sex is strictly a no go and its not like they don’t make it tough with everyone forced to live with mommy and daddy until their married. Thus the thriving love motel business to help a couple out.
10. Here Comes the Bride ( She better be childless and never married before)
Divorce, though prevalent, is a big deal in Korea. More so for women than men. If a gal gets divorced invariably its her fault and her hopes of finding another man willing to marry her (read willing to face his family’s wrath) especially if she has kids from a previous marriage is a steep hill to climb. The guys however get much less of a hard time about this.
There you have it! What do you think?
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thank you it was really helpful
You’re most welcome!
thank you so much for this information! it do helps me a lot in finishing my assignment about taboos in Korean culture. thank you again ^^
You’re welcome! I’m glad you found it useful. Take care!
taboos is very interesting topic
Thanks! Feel free to add any Taboos from your own culture or any other Korean ones I may have missed!
Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam comments
Yes! But thankfully the spam filters take care of the bulk of comments for me!
I think the 7th taboo, writing a person’s name in red, comes from back in the day where people who were about to be executed (or the equivalent?) would wear signs written in red stating who they are, what they did, and what their punishment will be. I’m not sure if that’s the only reason but it’s definitely a contributing reason for this taboo. Even Asians in America tend to avoid writing names in red, pink, or “red-ish” inks.
Thanks for the background info NarOh!
The facts are interesting. Some of them are also taboo in my country -or if I can generalize- in other Asian countries ^^
Thanks for sharing ~
Maybe most except for Thailand!
Bori!
That sounds like good news. Things may change slow but they are changing. Everyone's life does not have to follow the same pattern. People should do what's in their good interest and if that means delaying marriage or no marriage at all then it's their life! Parents should have more faith that the children they raised into adults can make good decisions.
Interesting..i strongly agree on #3. Im Korean, girl, 30 next year, – this tells everything to my parents. Find a man and get married off. This way they think they have done all they could do for their child. I hate this to be honest. This is too much pressure and I do not want to be surrounded by my korean friends and family who always talk about marriage, finding a man, bla bla. Come one, being 30s is not all about marriage. This is changing though. In fact, some of my friends parent encourage their daughter to enjoy their life as late age as they can, and even, if she is self-sufficient, they let her stay single.
I like it it really depicting Korean culture taboo…i live here and it is amazing to see the difference between cultures….And i like the way you put it. However coming from an African country i must say we have a lot in common,….
Angel, thanks for the comment. Where in Africa are you from? What the taboos are shared between the two countries?
Agreed. #9 in particular is long-dead for most Koreans. I taught uni for 5 years, and many of my students flaunted their sexual identities.
What they did *not* do was discuss it. One of the hilarious foibles of Korean culture: do it, even flaunt it, but don't talk about it!
They're knocking 'em out one at a time! Hopefully.
Wow, what an interesting post, I had no clue that these taboos were such a big part of the Korean culture. Some seem a little too outdated but there are a few that should live on, such as the respect for elders. Thanks for the post, I learned a lot!
The good thing is that with each new generation the backwards taboos will begin to fade away. Or so I hope!