Okay, my friends from back home love to lord over the fact that the Pop acts there are just all that and a bag of chips. They had never even heard of K-pop before I started filling them in on the music scene here.
They can’t help but to compare Pop and K-pop artists. One major area of snark happens to be the names of the artists. They think K-pop acts have silly names. Well, enough is enough! It’s time to put up or shut up! So I’m going to compare the hottest, biggest, and best of both worlds to show that the Pop of back home isn’t as high and mighty as they think it is.
Male Solo Artist:
Korea: Rain vs US: Michael Jackson
Okay, yeah Rain isn’t really his name but it’s a killer stage name. It’s simple, catchy, and sticks in your head. Though, up against the King of Pop I guess I’ll have to give it to him.
Except he’s not exactly reigning anymore so instead we have to use the American runner ups which would be Usher and Justin Timberlake. Come on! Rain vs Usher? An usher shows you to your seat and brings you your popcorn. Rain washes all over you and cleanses the soul. And can you really take anyone named Timberlake seriously? I think not!
Verdict: Rain!
Female Solo Artist:
Korea: Hyori & Boa vs US: Beyonce and Lady Gaga
Okay, okay, Beyonce is an original sounding name. I don’t know anyone with it except her. I still think her mother just made it up much like her sister’s name lozenge, I mean Solange. Boa reminds me of a snake (that’s not good) and it’s new meaning of belligerent old ajusshi. So, I guess Korea loses.
But we rebound with Hyori whose name also cleverly morphs into album names like Hyorish! Lady Gaga can’t touch that.
Verdict: Tie!
Boy Band:
Korea: Big Bang US: Jonas Brothers
Ha! I know what you’re thinking: THE JONAS BROTHERS! Yeah, well I can’t use other groups like The Backstreet Boys or NSYNC because they don’t exist anymore. All the USA has nowadays when it comes to boy bands is the Jonas Brothers so embrace it and love it (if you can). The name is bland and ordinary with no pop and definitely no fizz.
Meanwhile, Korea has Big Bang who literally scream sex appeal and talent with dance moves that would make the Jonas Brothers scream like twelve year old fan girls at the sight. The name is explosive, unusual, and unforgettable. You can’t forget the big bang unless you’re a creationist and I’m not even going there!
Verdict: Big Bang
Girl Group:
Korea: Wonder Girls vs US: Pussycat Dolls
Trying to think of a US Girl Group still singing together and not backstabbing, hair pulling or imploding is a lot tougher than you’d think. Finally, all I could think of was the Pussycat Dolls and even then all of their members are gone except for two. Still, they’re together and popular so it works. The name is good. It’s edgy and sounds cool just to say out loud.
The Wonder Girls have that throw back sounding name like a girl group from the fifties. The name is cute, but not really sexy. Does it have to be though? Everything doesn’t have to be sex on a stick does it? They could’ve been named Outer space Sex Kittens but would that have sold more albums? The US is losing bad so we’ll throw them a point.
Verdict: Pussycat Dolls
Winner: Korea!
I hope this goes to show that K-pop is not to be messed with when it comes to names! Still, in the end the names don’t really matter all that much. It’s about the music right? For every 2NE1 I’ll match you a SWV or for every Super Junior I’ll show you a New Kids on the Block.
