Where The Hell Am I?: OECD: Korea Classified As A “Danger Country” For Women
Remember Whoppi in Ghost? Well that line is what popped into my head when I recently read a post touching upon the well being of women in Korea by Expat Jane on her blog Where The Hell Am I?(See Above Link)
Her post drops the bombshell that the OECD (Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development) has listed Korea as a “danger country” in terms of the safety for women. To be honest that’s a label I would’ve expected from a country like Iran or Saudi Arabia. It’s almost a given that with the draconian edicts of the Koran that Muslim women face severe obstacles to Independence and autonomy, but to think that Korean women are on that same path surprised me.
Sort of. I mean, I have only been here six months and with the barrier of being a foreigner who doesn’t speak the language I completely acknowledge that I am out of the loop on Korean societal norms and behaviors. But I have noticed and heard a few things since I’ve been here.
I’ve heard that Korean women sacrifice for their families. They expected to maintain the home, and rear the children, and keep their husbands satisfied and put him first in their priorities. Is this why Korean girls are so sheltered and protected at home? So they can become a suitable wife one day? With all that self sacrifice how are you to assert yourself? If you do are you chastised as an unruly scandalous daughter? If you don’t are you just perpetuating the idea that you’re just their to serve someone else’s needs, engendering a sense of entitlement to males who think that’s all you’re there for? Generalizations, I know.
It makes me think of the stereotypes we have back home in the US about Asian women.
The thing is, and please tell me if I’m wrong, but this is the sense I get when I’m out and about and see Korean couples interacting. Not all the time, but enough that I feel a vague sense of creepiness that I’m witnessing a moment in the life of a Stepford Wife. I have experienced that back at home as well, but not to the extent that I’ve felt it here. I could just be misinterpreting.
I have a friend whose boss is, on the surface, an independent strong Korean woman. She runs her own business. She’s successful and smart. Cool, I say, but then I hear how she is used and abused at work by one of her own employees. A male employee. He talks back to her. He tells her what to do. He disrespects her in front of the other employees and should have been out the door with a pink slip. Yet he’s still there. Who would put up with that? Yes, this is only one example but it’s so outrageous that I’m left wondering what could be going on in her thought process that she can’t simply fire the guy?
Is her behavior some sort of variation of the dumb blond act? Instead of pretending to be stupid to make the guy feel more comfortable and secure in his manhood the boss lady is adopting the docile stereotype of passivity so as not to offend his male ego? I mean, is the train of thought: it’s bad enough she’s his boss, but does she have to act like it too? Weird.
It almost feels like the women of today’s Korea are trapped in the attitudes of the American 1940’s and 1950’s. Seriously, I’m waiting for the parade of hoop skirts and bobby socks and the Korean teachers at work to talk about how they love their Frigidaire. With the societal pressure to be married and popping out babies so intense is it really that far fetched an idea?
Thank God for Margaret Cho who shatters all stereotypes about Korean women left and right. Being who are you and standing up for what you think is right is a great weapon for change. Hopefully her being American doesn’t nullify that because I think violence toward women in Korea won’t be curbed until the attitudes toward them begin open up and become less one dimensional.
Until then, maybe some enterprising woman in Korea can be inspired by Indian Revathi Roy who came up with an All women for Women Taxi service. A similar service is also offered in Iran but that one is owned by a man.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmuLA-78Foc]
You can see how such a service can be a boon for women not only in terms of safety but as a way to give some access to jobs because I swear I have yet to see a woman taxi driver in Seoul.
It's amazing how intertwined koreans' personal and professional lives are. In one way it makes total sense, but in another it's so different. It reminds me of a family dynamic.</></>I wonder when Koreans change jobs or are fired if its accpetable to maintain those past work relationships or if people are suddenly considered off limits?
Ooops…I just noticed this link, so thanks for linking to me.</></>I'd say Korean women ARE stuck in a timewarp from our perspective because we inherited results of feminism. I remember when I first arrived seeing bank tellers in matching outfits and working women tipping around on heels you'd never see in the West but on old footage of women working on black and white newsreels.</></>But even with our post-feminist societies we've got a backlash against feminism now and you've got Western men who flock to Asia based on the stereotypes of the passive Asian woman ready to please his every need. It's the rare Western guy I've met who has an Asian girl fetish, some have it and some don't, who has his beliefs challenged because those stereotypes very much do exist to some degree here. In fact, I'd say that some Korean women go out of their way to PROVE those stereotypes right. So there is a tension – there are Korean women who don't want to be seen that way but there are others who know that's their way to the Holy Grail of the foreign boyfriend and husband. What some don't realize is not all foreign men are Holy Grail prizes. I've also met the naive Western man who is a poster child for "how to get a Green Card" as he's back looking for Korean wife number two after the first one divorced him after she got her Green Card locked down in the States. (That was both a sad but hilarious story to hear – direct from the man himself, I have to add.) Either way she's out of the misogynistic loop in Korea.</></>As for that female business owner, it might be Korean law. I've heard it's quite hard to fire an employee here. Plus, if he's abusive at work she might fear it escalating if she were to fire him. Koreans are pretty open with their lives at work. It's a communitarian society, so privacy here isn't what it is in the West. They know where their co-workers live and know quite a bit about their personal lives. You can't get away with saying "that's private" or "none of your business" because it is seen as their business to know the private lives of those they spend so much time with. I'd not be surprised if her Korean friends and family tell her to just put on a brave face and put up with this guy.</></>It's cultural differences coupled with the fact that they're still very much developing economically. They've got to figure out what works for them. Western solutions very well might not. In fact, Western women are still fighting about and figuring out what works for us. The confrontational bra burning approach still hasn't gotten us the Equal Rights Amendment to the US Constitution. It will be interesting to see how their society deals with the problem of women's rights and violence against women.