KMK: Phuket – Patong Beach

When I arrived in picturesque Phuket little did I know that the pristine beaches I’d seen online only served to disguise a hot den of disrepute. My descent into the swirling stew of decadence and debauchery started off innocent enough.

I hopped off the plane and jumped into a cab bound for Patong beach. I didn’t even blink that the taxi fare cost an unreasonable amount since I assumed this must be due to the high cost of transporting resources to the island. The drive went by quickly as we sped by green jungle forests and rolling hills to the death drop descent into Patong.

The road to Patong winds down into an area knee deep with folks out and about. Sun soaked tourists in shabby beach wear saunter down the sidewalks looking for souvenirs and a bite to eat. Friendly faced Thai men and women beckon passerby to come into their massage parlor for a moment of relaxation and who knows what else. Old ladies behind rickety carts cook up Thai noodles on hot plates. Gnarled tuk tuk drivers catcall from their parked vehicles hoping for a fare. Vendors, eager to sell T-shirts, sarongs, DVDs, jewelry and much more, boast about their cheap prices.

The buildings in the area consist of a mish mash of high and low that baffles the new comer. Hi rise luxury hotels with sprawling pools and boutique gift shops stand next to ramshackle guesthouses proclaiming bargain basement prices. Cramped street side food shacks huddle next to fancy seafood restaurants. Starbucks sheepishly rests against the girlie bar with scantily clad bar waifs gyrating on pedestals.

Thankfully the beach awaits everyone who presses through the throng of craziness. Sun drenched bodies bask in the sun on white sandy beaches. Swimmers float on crystal clear water so warm and inviting you want to fall asleep and float away into nothingness. Deep brown Thai guys, muscled and fresh faced, play beach boy getting drinks, towels and whatever else you may fancy. I really dig the Phuket beaches. I bet you will to.