Portie & Barack

Picking a Presidential dog remains one of the most mysterious and uncanny processes left in the American landscape. To be sure the entire endeavor is fraught with perils. Is the dog too big or too small? Is it a mutt or a pedigree? Beneath all these questions lay the pitfalls of public perception gone wrong if a bad choice is made. This is especially true when the President doesn’t match the traditional image of who the nation wants their fearless leader to be. The country wants their President to be a mans man inside and out. Picking the right Presidential dog goes a long way in cultivating that image.
And make no mistake this newest President pooch belongs to the man in the big chair and not his daughters. Sure, the pretext of getting this dog was to fulfill a father’s promise to his daughters, but Sasha and Malia would’ve been happy with any dog with four legs, puppy dog eyes, and a big lolling tongue. So even though the word is out that this dog is for his girls the truth is that this baby is all his and serves as a reflection of the man in the Oval office and no one else.
Who was it striding across the White House lawn taking the new pup out for a walk in front of the media blitz? It wasn’t Sasha or Malia who probably were looking on expressions of confusion colored with envy. For wasn’t this dog supposed to be their responsibility? It wasn’t Michelle or even Granny who most likely realized that this new addition to the family was Man’s best friend first and foremost. Nope, the big O himself took up the job of introducing Bo to the country.

This made me think that Obama got what this dog was truly all about. He would present a statuesque Great Dane, a tough Bull Dog, a sleek grey hound or a dependable German Shepherd. Except that thought quickly reversed itself when I actually saw our newest Presidential First Puppy and came away with the singular question,”what the heck is that puff of fluff?” To be clear Bo is a Portuguese water dog affectionately known as a Portie. Yes, that’s what I said. Portie. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m sure the breed is lovely. However, for a man who was cast as an effete elitist nibbling on arugula while strolling across Ivy League grounds, well, I just assumed he would have come up with something a little, shall we say, different.

To be fair Obama did have one criterion he had to meet. The dog had to be hypoallergenic so that his youngest daughter Malia wouldn’t suffer. And the Portie doesn’t shed and will be easy on the girl’s allergies. But why didn’t he go with the sturdy looking Basengi? Really, at 3 A.M. would you feel safe and secure knowing Bo the Portie was downstairs guarding your hearth and home? Still, it could have been worse. We could’ve ended up with a Chinese Crested Dog or the Dandie Dinmont Terrier and have had to take our collective national shame to the couch of Dr. Phil.