It’s funny how the news world works. In America the world news basically boils down to this: Iraq, Iraq, Israel, Iraq, Iraq, [Insert Name of Foreign Country Here] hates Bush’s policies, Iraq, Iran, Iraq, Iraq, South Korea, Iraq. Yes, we are at war in Iraq, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world suddenly ceases to exist.
Maybe the news focuses on Iraq, Iran, and North Korea because those are the countries that President Bush labeled the Axis Of Evil or AOE as I like to call them. Now, maybe it’s just me, but AOE conjures up images of an asshole Fraternity whose house takes up an entire square block but only has like six members living in it while a hundred servants wait on them. On weekends they have wild drug induced orgies with UN inspectors, I mean naive sorority girls, who show up expecting a civilized cotillion but end up knocked out by the rufies President Saddam slipped into their drinks.
The next morning they wake up on the front lawn, soiled and sullied, with a torn dress and a magic marker mustache traced over their upper lip, looking indignant and scrambling for a morning after pill. We cheer when the sorority girls race to the Dean and Saddam winds up expelled, jailed and hanged, but really, what did they expect would happen when you party with AOE?
Meanwhile, the other two prominent frat boys Mahmoud “Stoner” Ahmadinejadw and Kim “Hooch” Jong-Il plot and scheme the next big party as their former President takes the fall. And what about the other little known members of AOE that receive no attention? I think those members should be brought out into the harsh glare of the worldwide spotlight so they can too can rise and shine for all of America to see. To that end I present to you Robert “Tea Bag” Mugabe.
Robert has a serious case of only child syndrome. He refuses to play fairly with others and often rigs the game in his favor. The only things he shares are blows to the head and body tackles. He’s also a fearsome poker player employing his patented “redistribution of chips” technique. Check out the BBC snapshot for a quick run down on Tea Bag’s accomplishments.
*Frat Nicknames courtesy of Fratguyantics.
I’m a blogger, writer, and teacher. I’ve been working in South Korea’s ESL field for the last three years. My one year contract has unexpectedly turned into a journey that I’m still on and loving.
